Reluctant Widow Read online

  ‘By no means.’

  ‘You should not allow yourself to regard it.’

  ‘No, perhaps I should not, if I had only myself to consider. But such whisperings can be extremely mischievous. My brother John, for instance, might find them embarrassing, and I have no desire to throw any rub, however unwitting, in his way. And Nicky – no, Nicky would never bear to hear me slandered!’ He broke off, as though recollecting that he was addressing a stranger, and said abruptly: ‘The simplest way to put a stop to all this nonsense is to provide my cousin with a wife, and that is what I am determined to do.’

  ‘But I do not properly understand, sir! If, as you say, your cousin dislikes you, why would he not himself look about him for a wife? He cannot wish you to inherit his possessions!’

  ‘Not at all. But not all the representations of his doctor have been enough to convince him that his life is not worth the purchase of a guinea. He considers that there is time and to spare before he need burden himself with a wife.’

  ‘If this is so, how have you been able to persuade him to be married to some unknown female whom, I collect, you have found for him through advertisement? It must be preposterous!’

  ‘I have said that I will meet his present debts if he does so.’

  She regarded him with some shrewdness. ‘But he would be left with the burden of a wife on his hands. Or have you also undertaken to provide for this unfortunate female, sir?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘There has been no suggestion on my part that the marriage should be more than a form. Indeed, I would ask no woman to live with my cousin.’

  She wrinkled her brow, and said with a faint flush: ‘Can your purpose be achieved so? Forgive me, I think you cannot have considered, sir! To exclude you from the succession must there not be an heir?’

  ‘No, it is immaterial. The property is most foolishly left. My cousin inherited it from his and my grandfather, through his mother, but her marriage to Lionel Cheviot had so much displeased my grandfather that he was at pains to prevent its falling into his hands, or on to those of his family. With this aim, he settled it upon his grandson, with the proviso that if Eustace died unmarried it must revert to his younger daughter, or her eldest son: myself, in fact.’

  ‘It is entailed, I collect?’

  ‘No, it is not an entail precisely. On the day Eustace marries he may dispose of the property as he wishes. It is an awkward arrangement, and I have often wondered what maggot can have entered my grandfather’s head. He had some odd fancies, one of them being a strong persuasion that early marriages are beneficial to young men. That may have been in his mind when he made these provisions. I cannot tell.’ He paused, and added calmly: ‘You must acknowledge, ma’am, that my present scheme is not as fantastic as it may at first appear.’

  She could not help smiling at this, but merely said: ‘Will you find any female ready to lend herself to such a marriage? I must hold that to be in grave doubt.’

  ‘On the contrary, I hope I may have done so,’ he retorted.

  She resolutely shook her head. ‘No, my lord, you have not, if you have me in your mind. I could not entertain such a notion.’

  ‘Why could you not?’ he asked.

  She blinked at him. ‘Why could I not?’ she repeated.

  ‘Yes, tell me!’

  She found herself quite unable to comply with this request, although she was sure that she knew her own reasons. After struggling to put these into words, she sought refuge in evasion, and replied crossly: ‘It must be perfectly plain why I could not!’

  ‘Not to me.’

  Apparently he was not to be so put off. Eyeing him with some resentment, Miss Rochdale said: ‘You do not appear to me to want for sense!’

  ‘No, nor am I so set up in my conceit that I cannot be convinced. I am waiting for you to do so.’

  This very reasonable speech caused Miss Rochdale to feel a quite justifiable annoyance. She said coldly: ‘I cannot undertake to do so. You may say, if you please, that I still have enough pride to recoil from such a contract.’

  ‘What I please to say cannot possibly signify,’ he replied patiently. ‘Is this all your reason?’

  ‘Yes – no! You must know that it is impossible to put into words what I feel! Every feeling must be offended!’

  ‘Are you betrothed?’ he asked.

  ‘No, I am not!’

  ‘You are perhaps in the expectation of becoming so?’

  ‘I have told you that I am six-and-twenty,’ snapped Miss Rochdale. ‘It is in the highest degree unlikely that I shall ever be betrothed!’

  ‘In that case,’ he returned prosaically, ‘you might do very much worse for yourself than to strike this bargain with me.’ He saw how her colour rose, and smiled with a good deal of understanding at her. ‘No, do not fly out upon me! Consider for a moment! You appear to be committed to a life of drudgery. I do not even know your name, but it is apparent to me – was apparent from the outset – that you were not born to the position you now occupy. If you are without the expectation of contracting an eligible alliance, what does the future hold for you? You must be too well aware of the evils of your situation to make it necessary for me to point these out to you. Marry my cousin: you must own that the advantages of such an alliance would outweigh the drawbacks which, I assure you, I perceive as clearly as you do yourself. His character is disgraceful, but he comes of a good family: as Mrs Cheviot, with an easy competence to call your own, you must command respect. You need do no more than take my cousin’s hand in church: I will engage for it that he shall not afterwards molest you. You may pass the rest of your life in comfort; you may even marry a second time, for I am in earnest when I say that my cousin cannot hope to continue long in his present way of life. Think soberly before you make me an answer!’

  She heard him out in silence, meeting his steady regard at first, but presently lowering her eyes to the contemplation of her own hands, tightly clasped in her lap. It was impossible for her to listen to him unmoved. It was rarely that she had encountered a fellow-creature who understood any part of the ills of her situation. Such casual acquaintances as she possessed seemed to think that the genteel nature of her chosen occupation must make it acceptable to her. But this strange, curt man, with his rather hard eyes and his almost blighting matter-of-factness, had called her life a drudgery. He had said it without a trace of sympathy in either face or voice, but he had said it, and only those who had endured such a life could know how true it was.

  She hoped that she had too much delicacy of principle to allow the temptation she felt to overcome her scruples. That it was a temptation it would be useless to deny. Her future was indeed uncertain, and she was being offered, merely for giving her hand in nominal marriage, security, perhaps even the means of commanding again some of the elegancies of life. To remain steady in refusing must be a struggle; it was a minute or two before she could trust herself to look up. She tried to smile; it was a woeful attempt. She shook her head. ‘I cannot. Do not press me further, I beg of you! My mind is made up.’

  He bowed slightly. ‘As you wish.’

  ‘I think you must perceive that I could not do it, sir.’

  ‘You have asked me not to press you further, and I shall not do so. You shall be conveyed to Five Mile Ash at whatever hour of the day you choose to-morrow.’

  ‘You are very good,’ she said gratefully. ‘I wish Mrs Macclesfield may not turn me from her door! I am persuaded she would do so if she knew the truth!’

  ‘You will have time to think of some acceptable explanation. Drink your tea! When you have done so, I will conduct you to the inn I spoke of, and arrange for your accommodation there.’

  She thanked him meekly, and picked up her cup. She was relieved to find that he did not appear to be vexed, or even disappointed at her refusal to fall in with his schemes. She felt herself impelled to say:
‘I am sorry to disoblige you, my lord.’

  ‘I know of no reason why you should be expected to oblige me,’ he answered. He took his snuff-box from his pocket, and opened it. ‘You still have the advantage of me,’ he remarked easily. ‘May I know your name?’

  ‘My name is Rochdale,’ she replied, after a second’s hesitation. ‘Elinor Rochdale.’

  His hand remained poised above his open box; he looked up quickly, and repeated in an expressionless tone: ‘Rochdale.’

  She was conscious of a heightening of the colour in cheeks; she said defiantly: ‘Of Feldenhall!’

  He inclined his head in a gesture betokening nothing more than an indifferent civility, but she was very sure that he knew her history. She watched him inhale his snuff, and suddenly said: ‘You are correct in what you are thinking, sir: I am the daughter of a man who, between unlucky speculation and the gaming-table, came to ruin, and shot himself.’

  If she had expected to embarrass him, she was doomed to disappointment. He restored his snuff-box to his pocket, remarking merely: ‘I should not have supposed it to have been necessary for Miss Rochdale of Feldenhall to pursue the calling of a governess, whatever her father’s misfortunes may have been.’

  ‘My dear sir, I have not a penny in the world but what I have earned!’ she said tartly.

  ‘I can readily believe it, but you are not, I fancy, without relatives.’

  ‘Again you are correct! But I am the oddest creature! If I must be a drudge, as you have described me, I prefer to receive a wage for my labours!’

  ‘You are certainly unlucky in your relatives,’ he commented.

  ‘Well,’ she said candidly, ‘I cannot quite blame them, after all. It is no light matter to have a penniless girl foisted on to one, I am sure. And one, moreover, to whose name a disagreeable stigma is attached. You yourself know something of what it means to be whispered about: you should be able to understand my resolve not to cause either my relatives or my friends embarrassment. You will say that I might have called myself by some other name! I might perhaps have done so had I had less pride.’

  ‘I should not say any such thing,’ he answered calmly. ‘I will agree, however, that you have a great deal of pride – and some of it false.’

  ‘False!’ she exclaimed, quite taken aback.

  ‘Certainly. It has led you to exaggerate the consequences of your father’s death.’

  ‘You cannot know the circumstances that led to it,’ she said, in a low voice.

  ‘On the contrary. But I have yet to learn that you were in any way concerned in them.’

  ‘Perhaps you are right, and I have allowed myself to be too much mortified. My first experience of how the world must look upon our affairs was an unhappy one. You must know that I was betrothed to a certain gentleman at the time of my father’s death who – who was excessively relieved to be released from his obligations.’ She lifted her chin, adding: ‘Not that I cared a button for that, I assure you!’

  He remained entirely unmoved. ‘How should you, indeed?’

  She would have spurned any expression of pity, but she felt irrationally annoyed by this unfeeling response, and said rather sharply: ‘Well, it is no very pleasant thing to be jilted, after all!’

  ‘Very true, but the knowledge that you were well rid of a bad bargain must soon have allayed your chagrin, I imagine.’

  A reluctant twinkle came into her eye. ‘I have not the most distant guess, my lord, why the extreme good sense of your remarks should put me out of charity with you, but so it is!’ she said. ‘You will do well to conduct me to your decent inn before I am provoked into answering you in a style quite unsuited to our different degrees!’

  He smiled. ‘Why, I am sorry if I have vexed you, Miss Rochdale. But I cannot conceive that expressions of sympathy on my part could in any way benefit you, or, in fact, be acceptable to you.’

  She began to draw on her gloves. ‘How odious it is in you always to be so precisely right! Do your friends in general feel themselves to be remarkably foolish when they are with you?’

  ‘As I am fortunate in having a good many friends, I believe not,’ he replied gravely.

  She laughed, and rose to her feet. As she did so, a bell pealed vigorously, as though pulled by a very urgent hand. It startled her, and she turned her eyes towards Carlyon in a look of dismayed enquiry. He had risen when she did, and he moved towards the door, saying: ‘That is doubtless my cousin. You will not wish to meet him. Do not be alarmed! I will not let him come into this room.’

  ‘It is his own house after all!’ she said, amused. ‘I suppose he will not eat me!’

  ‘Unlikely, I think. But he will probably be drunk, and I should be loth to subject you to any more annoyance than you have already suffered.’

  The servant must have been nearer at hand than either of them knew, for before Carlyon could reach the door voices were heard in the hall, a hasty footstep sounded, and a tall, slender young gentleman fairly burst into the room, exclaiming in accents of heartfelt relief: ‘Oh, Ned, thank God you are here! I had nearly rid home, only that Hitchen told me in the very nick of time that you had driven over here! I am in the devil of a pucker! In fact, I don’t know what’s to be done, and I thought I had best come to you at once, even if you are not quite pleased with me!’

  One glance at this fair-headed, fresh-faced youth, with his open blue eyes, and tanned cheeks, had been enough to convince Miss Rochdale that whoever else he might be he was not Carlyon’s dissolute cousin. A second glance was needed to enable her to discern an indefinable likeness in him to Carlyon, for it was not marked. He was plainly in considerable agitation, and he looked more than a little scared. Her experience of Carlyon, brief as it was, prevented her from feeling any surprise at his damping response to the young man’s impetuous speech.

  ‘Yes, certainly it was the best thing to do,’ he said. ‘But I cannot believe there is any occasion for all this commotion, Nicky. What have you been doing?’

  His young brother heaved a large sigh, and smiled blindingly at him. ‘Oh, Ned, you always make a fellow feel there is nothing so desperately bad after all! But indeed there is! I’m excessively sorry, but I have killed Eustace Cheviot!’

  Three

  A shocked silence fell upon the room. Carlyon stood perfectly still, staring at his brother under suddenly frowning brows. Nicky returned his gaze, deprecatingly, but not unhopefully. He put Miss Rochdale strongly in mind of a puppy, who, having chewed up his master’s shoes, was doubtful of winning approval.

  It was Carlyon who broke the silence. ‘The devil you have!’ he said slowly.

  ‘Yes,’ Nicky said. ‘And I know you won’t like it, Ned, but indeed I never meant to do it! You see, it was – Well, you now how he –’

  ‘Just a moment, Nicky! Let me have this from the start! What are you doing in Sussex?’

  ‘Oh, I’ve been rusticated!’ Nicky explained. ‘I was on my way home when –’

  ‘Why?’ interrupted Carlyon.

  ‘Well, it is nothing very bad, Ned. You see, there was a performing bear.’

  ‘Oh!’ said Carlyon. ‘I see.’

  Nicky grinned at him. ‘I knew you would! Keighley was with me – just kicking up a lark, you know! And, of course, when I saw that bear – well, I had to borrow it, Ned!’

  ‘Of course,’ Carlyon agreed dryly.

  ‘The Bag-wig said I stole it, but that’s fudge! As though I would do such a thing! That made me as mad as fire, I can tell you! Well, I don’t mind his abusing me like a pick-pocket for setting the brute on to tree two of the Nobs – it did, Ned! It was the most famous thing you ever saw in your life!’

  ‘I dare say, but I didn’t see it.’

  ‘No, and I wish you might have done so, for I do think you must have enjoyed it. Well, there it was, and of course I expected I should have to fork out my knocking-in money
, or some such thing, and I didn’t care a fig for that. But then, as I say, the Dean would have it I had stolen the bear, in spite of my telling him that I had only borrowed it, and I fired up at last, and said I’d no need to steal bears because if you knew I wanted one you would very likely give me one –’

  ‘It is the last thing in the world I would give you.’

  ‘Well, I don’t want one; I should not know what to do with it. But I dare say my saying that put him in a worse pet, for the long and the short of it is that I am rusticated for the rest of the term. But I don’t think the Bag-wig was so very angry, you know, because for one thing he don’t like one of the Nobs the bear chased, and for another, I’ll go bail he had a twinkle in his eye, for I saw it. He’s a great gun!’

  ‘Very well, and what happened next?’

  ‘Oh, then, of course, I had to come down! Keighley drove me to London in his new phaeton. He has the prettiest pair of bays, Ned! Regular sixteen-mile-an-hour tits, and –’

  ‘Never mind that! I want to hear the rest of this story.’

  ‘Oh, yes! Well, from London I had to come the rest of the way on the stage-coach to Wisborough Green –’

  ‘Why, in heaven’s name?’

  ‘Oh, pockets to let! To tell you the truth, when I’d paid my fare I’d only a couple of benders left.’

  ‘That I can well believe, but could you not have gone to Mount Street?’

  ‘Yes, but I thought very likely John would be there, and you know what he is, Ned! He would have been prosing on and on, and I don’t mind if you take me to task, but I won’t have John preaching sermons to me, because he’s not my guardian, after all, and it only makes me mad!’

  ‘You are quite out of luck: John is at home.’

  ‘Yes, I know he is: Hitchin told me so. I wish he were not, for he is bound to pull a long face over what has happened, and say I had no business to have done it, just as though he would not have done it himself, which I know he must have, for with all his prosy ways he’s right one, isn’t he, Ned?’